Surrounding sounds:
Passion of the moment:
Mood:

I feel so weird and it's enough to get me depressed. I'm trapped and no one can hear me. I look down. Just sitting here looking down. Deadly silence.

As you probably can see "my logo" 's been modified and the pic. replaced with a butterfly. Why? Cause Ravenheart's server fucked up and the thingies got erased, so I had to make a new logo. This one is a bit to shiny and blurry when I look at it it, so it'll probably change in time. Change like Ms.Raven changed her mouth with a knife.

Alot has happend since last entry, and again it's too much to write. Too much to process and evaluate. I guess this entry is special, cause it's in this I'll just let the things I want to write about slip away and tjikka tsjokko. I'm still not pleased with the muffin.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I almost never dream anymore(or at least recall it), that's something seldom and special. I dreamt tonight. I't wasn't a plesant dream. Nope. Nothing like the flowers outside. Not like cooky and cream.
Ok, it probably won't sound that bad, it nevers does. But the impact dreams can have on me, well, this one made a strange one. Strangie Butterfly. It invloves Yngve/CatEye if you remember me telling you about him. Well anyway, it went like this. Something like this. It's summer now and vacation time. Happy faces everywhere, happy shiny people. Faces with ice cream and lipstick on them. Faces who kiss eacheother. No. People who kiss eachother. People with ice cream and lipstick. So, me sitting there. It's a party. Family and friends. Nutshells and vaginas. Amongst all the people who think they're just like the montain in heaven I spot his mother. My eyes spin around and there he is. I smile. I'm happy. Insecure and anxioius. Afraid. This part is actually a bit blurry and I can't remember how we did the meet and greet thing. He got a friend with him. It's a pretty guy. Looking much like someone I met in Oslo a week ago. We're out on the porch and everything is just so fucked up. Like some tortured memory. The carusell spins 'round, faster, faster, faster! Everything stops. I'm in a circle, a wooden stage in a park. Bang! Suddenly I realise that the ones with the baseball bat looking devices have to challenge a warrior and fight to his death. I don't got one but runs as hell around in the circle not to get one either. They throw it against me, try to put it in my arms. They scream. People gets killed. Everyone is desperate, they don't want to die now, they don't want to feel fishing hooks through their kidneys. Don't want to see all the blood. I see the phone. Heading straigh at it, not blinking my eyes for a second. Things are still happening everywhere and I'm in great danger. I forget all that. All of my energy and focus is directed to the phone and BANG! It's in my hand. Someone fells over in front off me. Blood in my face. I push the button. Nothing. My phone is dead. Stop.
That's about what I'm gonna retell. The rest of it retains a mystery. Something private for me to cherish and substain. Nothing good really. Just something like Yngve being in town and avoiding me, fucking my psyche up. And stuff. I'm praying to the aliens.

Lucian had to take a new pic for a card thing, but the pictures just looks like bad scandinavian desgin. Even a nice eye and a streched neck.

Just wanna quit off here with something from one of Mr. Numans' songs, "Sacrifice". After that I'll probably just sit here and stare as the music surronds me.
"I'm a ghost in the dark, and I'm yours. I belong in the past, and I'm yours. Like a song you forget, and I'm yours. Like a dream in the night, and I'm yours. ... Like a tear when you sleep, I'll be yours. ... Like the pain in the cold, I'll be yours. ... Like your shadow I will hold you. ... It should be forever but love isn't kind, don't let me down..."

Lucy loves the Kitty. Lucy knows. The butterfly never loved before. Just that one kitty. Thats why it doubts on love, cause nothing else is as a nice kitty. I love my kitty...

Untill Then,
Lucy Boyslut as Evil Ninja kYm

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