Surrounding sounds:
Passion of the moment:
Mood:

I can see it. I really can. Why did you put it there? I don't get it. Won't get it. Can't get it. I don't understand.

Woke up this morning and decided to take the day off from shcool. My body is exausted and I got way to much to do at the moment. Haven't had a day off for weeks, and that eats you up. Mondays I get up and leave for shcool at about 8pm, and don't get home for untill 10am. Tuesdays 11am, and so on. I get some Wednesdays off and Fridays I'ts mostly up to myself what I want to do. Usually parties or hanging with friends. Then Saturday it's more rehersal from 1am to 5am, and from time to time I'm on the road with Algorythms. Well, actually it isn't that bad, cause it's all things I want to do, like band rehersals, LLH-Meetings and I'm in on developing a cartoon(who'll probably be in the stores next year)an yada yada. The thing is that it exuastes me to always have something to do, never relax and just give a fuck. Offcourse, upon all that it's regular shcool work and other hobbies, and, no money, hehe. I had to quit Tai'Chi, drama, karate and some other stuff who I really like, but unfortially don't got the money or time too. I'l stop chatting 'bout that now, don't think it intresstst you much anyway. But now I've said it, I always got things to do, so sorry for not updating.

Continueing from when I woke up. It was lovely sunshine outside and the water was calling me. The voices outside told me to jump in the water. I got up and looked in the mirror. Stood there for a while, fascinated as always. The eyes, the skin, the complex human. Expression. I could look at a person for hours, study, portrait. Killana(or NemiSpikyVonSatan as we call her) was yesterdays beauty and fascination. Try it, look at someone, see how their eyes change, read them, look into their soul and compare it with their looks, their movements. After a while you get reallt good at this and then it's just blows your mind. I'm obsessed with my fascinations. Nature(flames,water etc.),humans, photograps, make-up, development, oh it's endeless. Look at the world through my eyes for one day and you'll probably see a whole new world, and everything will just open up and tell you something, grab you with fascination. New sounds you never heard before,things you've never seen,feelings you've never felt. It's all so fucking beautiful and sometimes I wonder if I'm really from this world, do I belong here? Haven't cried for a very long time, but pshycially I scream and twist in torture every week. My mind going numb, I'm going crazy. I've seen to much.
"She takes the pill before she goes to sleep and dreams that she's invisible". "Vivica"-Jack Off Jill.

I've lost it? Did I ever had it? Do it even exist? I've felt it, or atleast that whats my body wants me to think. Love is a just a lie isn't it? All just an illusion to make you humans mate. Some chemical bullshit that fools you. After a while it fades away, you've fucked now, done what you want to do. It dosen't exist like we want it to, that romantic dream'll never come true. Just another form of this 'I'm so horny' thang. It fades away evetually. We just thinks of it as this love thing, thats what inprinted in our minds. I can't feel, I feel dead. I'm not cold, nor warm. Just a dead tree whose leaves longe since decayed.
But at the same time I feel so much(as I said before in this entry), so overwhelming much. I've just got this thing, true love dissapears. Love is a lie. Hard to explain without talking to you face to face. Emontioally dead AND flaming. Paradox, I know. Love isn't what it used to be, but thanks, I'll take whaetever it is.

"Leave me alone,I'm a freak. Everywhere I go they all stare. I don't understand why they care. They stare at me all in black, and when I turn they stare at my back. I don't wanna be a part of your world, I donna wanna see things you see. Can't you understand how I feel, and can't you let me be? Leave me alone." "Leave me lone"-The Cr�xshadows.

After lookng in the mirror I go out to the kitchen and look otside. Huh? What's this? It was a red car who've drove right into our lawn, on the grass and stuff. I grapped a fucking huge kitchen knife and started laughing. Maby it was a crazy person who's gonna kill me and my family? I've started making stories and kept laughing. Mother called the police and checked if the car was stolen or something and little doggy barked as always. Hehe, really wierd scenario this morning. Weel anyways, it's over now and I'm sitting here and writing, listening to Mist of Avalon and New Breed. Maby Santa will fuck Daddy this Cristmas, and I'll get lots of presents. Hello I'm Lucy, do you wanna kiss me?

Were on T�nsberg Middelage festival this weekend and had a great time. Really enjoyed myself. Walked around with this entry pass with ARTIST all over it and stuff, hoho, I'm sooo cool! Oh yea...
Met many new people,great persons, they came from counrties all over, Germany,England,Denmark and yadda. Sat around the fire, someone were playing some nice tones on a flute, anotherone singing. Horses, knights and fighters, juggelers and pagans. Ah, it can't be describd, but was a great, wonderfull weekend I'll treasure. Stella Polaris had some shows, and it was so great that some of them couldn't remember a thing from it and just statred crying once they were finished. I like. I really like.

Got 5 in gymnastics(the grades here in norway are 1-6) and a big smile. Hehe. The faggot strikes back. Fuck all of you large fotball idiots! *grin* Also, I almost got 6 in Norwegian, but i've delivered some homework thingies who I'd just fucked up beacuse I didn't wanna do it, so, it got 5. I am now pleased. Give me some candy.

A friend of my told me that her father had commited suicide. Didn't know what to say. How do I respond to something like that. "Thats too bad"? "Aaaw, what a shame. He owed me money"? Can't remember what I said but one guy replied with "It could have been worse". Some people I know been stabbed, one of them through the neck and sliced through his tummy. Jummy.

They don't wanna. Look, they're turning their heads too. "No. No you can't." A strike against the head. I've been hit...

Untill Then,
Lucy Boyslut as Evil Ninja kYm

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